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milkshake

June 2009

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Jun. 7th, 2009

milkshake

Read at your own

I'm feeling crass, after a long night and a rough morning, and a through investigation from my dearest Prizwell.... I'm sure I smell like all the alcohol I drank last night, along with the sips that missed my mouth......

Anyway,
some old people are in their SUV watching the alleged car show (?) from the convenience of our driveway.... When I pulled in 20 minutes ago I asked if they needed anything, but they seemed to think their presence was allowed because they know Mark and Phil... Uh, you know, just cause you can read the Adsit Farms sign doesn't mean either one lives here.... And maybe if you knew them a little better you'd at least be privy to the fact that each of my step-father's brothers mentioned have a particular disdain for Steve...

Cause remember that one time Mark walked in the store, looked at me a bit puzzled and asked if I was Becky's daughter?

(Yes, Uncle Mark, I am.)


Moving on.


Last night was fun, but this morning was rough and remembering details of the previous night weren't exactly flattering.... Uhhh...

What I really came on here to say was that I have NO problem admitting that I just recently (a week ago) stopped taking my daily 10mg dose of antidepressants. Saying this doesn't bother me, that after a year of hating myself, hoping I just wouldn't wake up anymore, etc, literally praying to God that I would just be taken from the Earth, I found a simple solution that might be looked at as "the easy way out" or, "quick fix" or whatever you care to name it. I don't care. Because if you haven't felt even half as bad as I did, you have no reason to judge me. Sorry if I sound defensive; this is not entirely out of left field. And quite frankly if you're reading this and feel disgruntled, close the window you jag and SUCK MY PROVERBIAL DICK.


Amen.

Mar. 2nd, 2009

nous

Before tonight.

I've been down this road before
I walk out the door
Leave you on the floor
Sometimes you run and hide
Your foolish pride's
What keeps me from giving you more
So the best thing I can give to you
Is for me to go
Leave you alone
Cause you got growing up to do
Someday I'll return when its time
For payment in kind
The church bells will chime
You'll stand before me surrounded by lights
Dressed in white
You throw flowers in the air this night
But the best thing I can give to you
Is for me to go
Leave you alone
You got growing up to do
Looks like the rain's pouring down on me
It's drowning me now
And all I want is to come back home
And this old corduroy coat is not keeping me dry
But I can't think of what else to try
That's why the best thing I can give to you
Is for me to go
Leave you alone
You got growing up to do
Yeah
The best thing I can give to you is for me to go
Leave you alone
You got growing up to do

Apr. 16th, 2008

milkshake

:]

being alone it can be quite romantic
like jacques cousteau underneath the atlantic
a fantastic voyage to parts unknown
going to depths where the sun’s never shone
and i fascinate myself when i’m alone
 
so i go a little overboard but hang on to the hull
while i’m airbrushing fantasy art on a life
that’s really kind of dull
oh, i’m in a lull
 
i’m all for moderation but sometimes it seems
moderation itself can be a kind of extreme
so i joined the congregation
i joined the softball team
i went in for my confirmation
where incense looks like steam
i start conjugating proverbs
where once there were nouns
this whole damn rhyme scheme’s starting to get me down
 
oh, i’m in a lull
i’m in a lull
 
being alone it can be quite romantic
like jacques cousteau underneath the atlantic
a fantastic voyage to parts unknown
going to depths where the sun’s never shone
and i fascinate myself when i’m alone
 
i’m rambling on rather self consciously
while i’m stirring these condiments into my tea
and i think i’m so lame
i bet i think this song’s about me
don’t i don’t i don’t i ?
 
i’m in a lull
 

Sep. 28th, 2007

milkshake

favorite song of the moment.

I apologise,
seem to have arrived,
On what items in my bag from your house.
There's cutlery,
a tablecloth, some Hennessy,
And a book on Presidents deceased.
I'll have them fed-exed to you,
It was a strange thing to do,
I hope we can still be friends.
Ah, it was not me,
but someone else, you see,
Twisting the steering reins.

Put a penny in the slot and make an
artificial li-ii-iight shine,
Leave go-ooo. Mark old and line.

I don't give advise,
But be wise and think twice,
Before getting involved in a game.
Where the minority
Face the majority,
Who are faceless and born without names.
Was it knock synch when
we came across three men,
They had church candles wrapped in newspaper.
I bought two from them,
And I'll lit one for you,
I hope the message made it's way down the wire.

Put a penny in the slot and make an
artificial li-ii-iight shine,
Leave go-ooo. Mark old and line.

The soul of a dog,
he's alive and not gone
To the farm like the others said.
A Rhodesian ridgeback,
Off the beaten track,
In a furniture shop down on the quays.
For the loneliness you foster,
I suggest Paul Auster,
A book called Timbuktu.

Put a penny in the slot and watch the
Drunken sailor boy dance.
She will not let you be
Her lov-ver.
She goes out looking for
The taxi.
Her phone is ringing straight to
Message-minder.
Send out a battalion to
Find her.

Put a penny in the slot and count the
Swans through a te-elescope.
I can't help from cryin'
I wish you were mine.


When I was seventeen,
I followed my dream,
Up into a high-rise block.
The adventures of Augie March,
By Saul Bel-low,
Was all I had for company.
At night time I'd lie
In Beckingham park,
With tears like flashbulbs.
And recall my treasure-
Searching days,
In the rock pools as a kid.

To the remains of
The cherub plains,
Or around the bonfire in Nailors’ cove.
Good company and grief
Sit like a dock leaf,
Sits beside a stinging nett-le.

Put a penny in the slot and make an
artificial li-ii-iight shi-iine,
Leave go-ooo. My golden arm